beyond forgiving
by shoesr4losers
Summary: Inuaysha betrays kaogme, causing her soul to becomme consumed with hate. bent on revenge, so rejoind with kikyo's soul, and teams with naraku. finished
1. chapter1

I don't own them

I looked around helplessly. I just don't see how he could leave me. It was so dark now; the night tore away the last ray of light along with my last happy thought. Here I am now, stumbling around in the dark, while bitterness consumes my soul. He led me so far away from the well, to far for me to hope to return home by foot. After all, I wasn't even wearing shoes. I was injured in our last battle with naraku, we had finally defeated him. We even escaped with our lives all of us. Miroku and sango went off by them selves to have a family and live on a farm, I was happy for them, as they where for me, they thought inuyasha and I where going to follow along a similar course, but they where mistaken, and I fear I was as well. Now I walk, with my bow and arrows dressed like kikyo, I have grown to be her twin. So here I am, the reincarnated priestess, blindly pushing my way through the dark, lost and heartbroken. Oh inuyasha, how could you do this to me?

_flashback_

_He turned to face me. His eyes gleamed and he had a terrible expression on his face, hatred, contempt. He grabbed shippo from my hands, and killed him quickly, still advancing on me. "Finally I can be freed from the curse of you burdening me, with your useless powers. You mean nothing to me, wench" he said as he snatched the sacred jewel from my neck. Smiling at my expression of hurt and heartbreak, he added "come on kagome, you didn't really think I could fall for a mortal. Naraku didn't kill kikyo I did. Get over your self. Stupid girl" with that he ran off. I fell to my knees, feeling the blood trickle down my chest from the deep wounds he made when he harshly grabbed the jewel._

_end flashback_

The wounds where still open; blood was still falling from them. My kimono top was covered in my blood, and the same hate that kikyo lives off of fills my soul, keeps me going. Naraku, I thought, I was going to naraku. I could feel his feeble life force somewhere close, kikyo was near as well. They where both waiting for me.

Sometime later that night I stumbled into a clearing, there naraku lay fallen, still breathing. When his eyes met mine he flinched and said "kagome"

"Yes naraku it is I. I've come to bring you back to health." I noted that my voice was cold and full of hate like kikyo's. Indeed, I was becoming kikyo. I placed my hands on naraku's chest, my healing powers flowing through my fingers, his wounds began to close, and his breathing came easier as my power added to his demon blood. He shifted on the ground slightly testing his limbs. He sat up and looked at me.

"Kagome what do you want from me?" he said.

"Inuyasha must die. I wish for you to help me kill him. Don't forget naraku, you owe me your life." as I said before he dould object, hatred filled his eyes. "Come now naraku, surely you don't hate me. We share a common goal. Call your incarnations, and we will be off." I said as I turned my back on him, He followed, his head bent, shoulder's hunched, the look of a defeated man. I stopped. "Kikyo, show yourself" I called into the seemingly empty forest. The sun was beginning to rise. She walked out into the clearing, the rising sun at her back. My eyes glazed over with hate. Her past with inuyasha was forgiven, I have suffering the same hurt as she now, but her past betrayals where not. "Kikyo, you, and I share a soul, we share powers, and now we share a hate, a need for revenge, rejoin inside of me, and give me your wisdom. Surely, my body is better then that which makes yours. Together you and I, the same yet different, we will avenge our death" she looked at me and smiled. I was aware of the battle that would ensue between our two souls before they became one, the battle over which will dominate, and which will lie dormant.

"Yes kagome, I knew you'd come around." I held my hand out, and she pressed hers up against mine, a faint light shimmered and her body crumpled into a pile of dust. I picked up her clothes and changed, the wounds where healed thanks to kikyo's added strength. Now all that remained where three white scars, scars that would remain till inuyasha is dead. I added her arrows to my own. I turned and found naraku, kanna, and kaugra standing behind me.

"Narku, you will return to them their hearts."

"Yes kagome." My eyes flashed. No, I was not kagome; kagome was an immature irresponsible girl. Far to trusting, I had grown.

"No naraku, kikyo. I am Kikyo." I turned and walked off. My soul had won, hardly a battle, kagome's soul was bitter as was my own. Two souls so alike, yet so different. I continued walking, listening to their footsteps to make sure they still followed.

We arrived at our destination by noon the next day. Kanna and Kaugra where both grateful that Naraku had returned their hearts, and, in turn, agreed to help me avenge my past death. Naraku was still recovering, His demon body was powerful, made up of thousands demons, which was probably the only reason he had survived the wind scar. I told Naraku and his incarnations to wait in the forest while I got food from the village. I was still shocked at how much knowledge kikyo held, it's as if I know every square inch of this land. I was so lost before I found her, but now it seemed silly. It just reminded me of how stupid kagome was. I sneered at the thought. I stopped and got some bread.

I knew sango was here somewhere, I also knew miroku's wind tunnel had reopened. This is why I came here, he shouldn't be punished because I needed naraku's powers for my revenge. They where still my friends. I approached their hut. Knocking on the door, I waited patiently. Till it was opened by sango.

"Kagome?" she asked giving me a questioning look.

"Yes?" I should tell her that I had regained my soul and wished to go my original name, but I'll leave that for later.

"Where is inuyasha?" she asked, an unreadable expression crossing her face.

"Do not speak his name" I said sharply. "He betrayed me, just as he did kikyo. I have regained my soul from her, and I have gained her knowledge and power as well." I stated. I pushed my anger down, if you let emotions control you, you will be defeated. "Sango will you follow me? Bring miroku."

I began to walk towards the edge of the village with the confused couple behind me. I could hear them whispering to one another but chose to ignore it. We kept walking and sango stopped.

"I can sense a demon."

I rolled my eyes. "Its ok sango." I continued walking.

"You're not acting like kagome!" she screamed at me

"I was kagome, she was a stupid girl. I'm kikyo now. I'm bringing you to naraku, we're getting rid of that wind tunnel." I explained.

"How can I trust you. You don't act at all like kagome."

"People change through heart break. Your kagome was no different." I said coldly.

"I don't know..." miroku said

"Do you want that thing in your hand forever?"

"No"

"Ok then lets go"

"I still don't know"

"WILL YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT UP AND FOLLOW ME!" I said clenching my hands into fists. Sango smiled.

"Yup that's kagome." She looked at miroku.

"Indeed she does have her temper..." I glared at them.

"Will you two shut up already?" I said as they fell in step behind me.

"Naraku!" I called. He came stalking over from behind some bushes. "Fix his hand, remove that curse from his blood line. I will not have my only friends being cursed." I said.

He grabbed miroku's hand, began mumbling, and traced a symbol on it. Miroku's eyes widened as he removed the prayer beads and looked at his hand.

"t-thank you" he said shakily.

"No problem" I used one of kagome's old sayings. I told sango and miroku to return to their village, that I would see them again someday, and if they ever needed assistance to find me.

We walked until sunset when I stopped by a river. "We're staying here for the night." I said.

"You know..." kaugra said tentatively "I could use my feather and we can fly back to naraku's old castle. It still stands."

I looked at naraku. He was sitting on the ground, his elbow on his knee holding his head in his hand. With his other hand, he was playing with some grass. He was so miserable being a servant. Its not my way to cause other's pain, maybe I should let him have some fun.... "Naraku will it be ok with you if we stayed in your old castle for a while?"

He glared up at me. "As you wish." He spat.

(((Hummm that my friends, is my sucky anguish story. Kikyo took over kagome's soul after kagome had turned bitter, and harbored hate in her heart. Every now and then though, a little bit of kagome shines through, making kikyo a bit more...I donno.... Easy to live with. I mean seriously...she can't be a cold-hearted B all the time....

Naraku is out of character but that's cause he's being dictated over. Naraku is used to being the one who's in charge, not the other way around. I hope you like it. Review. Please! I don't want this to be a long story, but I don't know.

Thank you for your comments. They are appreciated.)))


	2. chapter 2

I don't own them

Originally, I hadn't planned on this story going back and forth between kikyo /kagome and inuyasha, but I can't really see any other way of continuing it.

So on with the story....

((Inuyasha))

I jumped from tree to tree, thinking, not sure where I was going. I felt bad about doing that to kagome, it's just after kikyo I can't have my self falling in love with another miko. I don't trust them, not in the least, and she was really starting to get at me, I had no other option. I could still smell her blood on my hands and it sickens me. I truly must be a despicable creature, how could I harm the one I loved. I stopped and vomited once again. Standing up I wiped my mouth off and went to find a stream to wash off in.

I had run most of the day so hopping up in a tree I figured it'd be ok if I slept for a bit. I squirmed to find a more comfortable resting spot. Closing my eyes I drifted off to a light sleep.

My eyes flew open. That scent! It wasn't it couldn't be. It smelt like kagome, and kikyou. And naraku? I jumped up further in the tree to see Kagura's feather over head, with a certain raven haired girl sitting on it. My eyes widened Naraku's back? He captured Kagome? But why did she smell like kikyo? What's going on here? I hopped from tree trying as hard as I could to keep up. Suddenly kagome was falling down at me. I ran to catch her. Ye gods that brought back memories. She lay seemingly asleep in my arms. That was, of course until her eyes flew open and shock over came my mind. It was kagome's eyes that stared up at me, but it seems they where shared with kikyo. "Inuyasha..." she whispered looking into my eyes. Love was shining in her eyes, But she blinked and it was replaced be rage. I jumped from the tree and landed on the ground. I put her down. She strung her bow and pointed it at me. "You bastard. How could you do that to us?" she spat it was odd how it sounded like kikyou's voice but ended shrill at the end like kagome's when she was mad. I stared at her.

"Us?" I asked

"Inuyasha, kikyo's soul had rejoined mine. We are on again. We yearn for revenge" It was so weird hearing kikyo –or was it kagome- refer to her self as we. I stared at them was it possible that both my loves where contained inside the body that I had come to love so dearly? I blinked and shook my head/

"w-w-what?" I stuttered.

"After your betrayal, kagome's soul turned bitter. The though of you leaving her to die in the forest alone killed her kind heart. She sought me out, seeing as we now had the same hate buried in our bones. While we both still love you, we both despise you." She shook her head. "How could you do this to us inuyasha?" That last part had kagome's voice, her young innocence, yet her weary heart.

"Oh kagome what have I done to you?" he whispered.

"You broke her heart, turned her soul bitter."

"No..." what have I done? Kagome had the purest soul and I broke it...I...I lowered my head my bangs covered my eyes nobody could see the tears that I held there. I turned and ran. I'm sorry kagome I'm so sorry....

OK so it sucked review ok? It was also incredibly short....but whatever review!


	3. chapter 3

I don't own them

Review, points finger review damnit I know your there!!!!!!!! Rawr!!!!!!!

Kikyo ran through the forest with speed that did not belong to her, and was easily able to catch up with inuyasha as he ran, water streaking down his face. My heart beat faster as she approached him, in my body. I saw the surprise flash in his eyes as he saw our face next to his.

"Kagome" I heard him gasp and kikyo fired a blast of spiritual energy at him. My soul flared and regained control over kikyo's as it had during those brief moments in the past.

"Inuyasha!" I screamed with all the power I had in me. I ran faster then I had before, catching his unconscious form before it hit the ground. I took most of the impact. I cried out as I felt pebbles piercing the delicate skin of my back. I shifted under him, His body a dead weight on my chest, pinning me there. 'Oh inuyasha what have I done? I should have realized that I didn't have such bitter feelings towards you. Kikyo feels an emotion that I can't feel...hate. The power of that single emotion chills me to the bone. Our souls are the same, but we were raised as two opposites, she learning to hate, and I learning to love. Love is weakness which is why she's stronger them me. I would never be able to hate inuyasha, never in all my wildest dreams. "Inuyasha" I breathed.

"Ka-kagome?" he questioned.

"Yes it's me." I responded by wrapping my arms around him. I felt Kikyo's soul surge with a mixture of emotion inside me. Hate, love, grief, and longing, all for her past love.

"How could you let kikyo's soul join yours?" he questioned with a shaky breath.

"How could you attack me like that inuyasha? How could you betray me?" I could feel tears in my eyes, and kikyo cried with me. She felt the same loss and betrayal as I did. How? Our minds whispered together.

"I-I was scared." What? Did he really just say that? "Last time I fell in love with your soul, I was betrayed and cursed for 50 years, and cursed for eternity with a broken heart, or so I thought. As we sought out the jewels, you wormed you way into my heart and warmed it from the inside out. I tried to convince my self I would leave you when we gathered them all, but it became evident that I didn't want to, that I couldn't. I had to prove it..." he drifted off, staring at the dawn filtering down to us through the treetops.

"  
I would s-i-t you if I wasn't under you," I said exasperated. How could he? Break both of our hearts in one blow just to prove how pig headed and stubborn he is. Its just so inuyasha like... "I can't believe you. You broke our hearts to prove something that obviously wasn't true to yourself. I reached up and twisted his ear. He yelped. "You're such an idiot!"

"What the hell did you do that for?" he said rolling over to face me, my miko energy still weakening him to the point beyond standing. And I was still pinned under him. Our faces where close. Both souls inside of me yearned for the same thing, one of them resenting its self for it, but knowing it had to happen. I raised my arms above his head. He winced thinking I was going for his ears again. I brought his head down and our lips met. At this both souls inside me swirled and became one. I felt a mellow happiness settle all over me. I smiled up at him as I spoke with two voices from my heart, they mixed to become one.

"I love you inuyasha" I heard myself say. I knew it was true and kikyo had found peace.

"I love you too kagome" he said. I smiled All of me was happy. Kikyo and kagome, combined through love. I felt a mix of emotions in my chest. Its true I have matured through heart break, and yet I was still childish, I was who I was supposed to be, the empty space filled by the rest of my soul. I felt weary, yet unburdened at the same time.

"Oh inuyasha if you ever do that again, I'll kill you! You hurt me so much both times. I just don't understand why you're so afraid of your own feelings...." He leaned down and silenced her with a kiss.

1 year later.

Kagome stepped out of the hut she occupied. It was in the forest of inuyasha, by the well. I slow sad smile fell onto her face as she placed a hand on her round tummy. Inuyasha's pups. Naraku's still around, but he won't harm us. He changed me into a hanyou in return for me sparing his life. He now lived somewhere in east Japan, coming around once a year as I had ordered. My bare feet gently grazed the grass with each step I took. I looked pretty much the same as I always had with the exception of an upside down crescent on my forehead. My hair was longer, and since I was half dog demon; I had pointed ears like sesshomaru's. Inuyasha is proud of his hanyou pups, and is very excited to be a father. Kikyo's soul still dwells within me, and I feel her now happy peaceful presence over us always protecting us. Through our souls joining, she found peace. I smiled at the thought as I jumped up into a tree, continuing to the top. Standing on one of the upper branches I watched the sun set, it wasn't long until I felt inuyasha's presence below me.

"Come on up inuyasha" I called to him

"Feh who said I wanted to."

"Anymore, inuyasha, someone would have to tell me you didn't want to. Now stop being so stubborn"

"Sometime I think I liked you better as a human." I heard him mumble from below me.

"Inuyasha SIT BOY!" I turned to see him face plant. I jumped down as the last rays of sun disappeared from the sky. I grabbed his hand and pulled him out and into to hug.

He growled softly. I silenced him with a kiss. "Shut up inuyasha, you where the one who asked me to be this way."

"I know, I love you kagome" he said softly, his breath tickling my sensitive ears. I growled and kissed him deeper.

"I love you too inuyasha, forever and always."

Originally, I wanted them to kill each other off, thinking it could be fun, but I changed my mind, and played it out like this instead hope you likely... review!


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